Grateful

Give thanks with a grateful heart,

Give thanks to the Holy One.

Give thanks because of what the Lord has done for us.

Wise words of a song there. And today I giggled when I saw that this was the prompt. I have so much to be grateful for. Five minutes is not going to be enough.

This week I am thankful for my new job. I left teaching as it was not right (for many reasons) and was given a huge push by God to go into the hospice movement. It's lovely to do so as Chris' Grandad was very involved in the hospice movement, although he with adults and I'm working with children and young people.  I started work on Tuesday and it is fabulous. The people are lovely, with totally my sense of humour (which is rare and amazing!) and the work is going to  be challenging but I currently feel very well supported and it's very enjoyable. It's been an interesting week and I'm grateful for having the weekend off and then Monday off too. Hooray for 3 day weekends!

I'm also grateful for my health, my wonderful husband who has allowed me to take this job and is indeed changing his in order to make it easier. My parents deserve an eternal gratitude. They do so much for us and the children, but more than that, they support me in every decision I make. I am very very lucky.

After last week you know how grateful I am to have such fabulous friends and I look forward to making new ones in this job. I felt especially grateful yesterday when God gave me a wonderful Christian lady in my job.

I am a lucky lady, and I give thanks for so much.

Mess

Mess. I'm surrounded by it. Anyone who has been in my house will know it's....um....messy. As one kind friend put it, it's always full of 'stuff'. Yes we have far too many possessions which possibly causes the problem but we love it all.

I was thinking about this recently. I have a lot of friends who have tidy, clean, decluttered houses. And I admit, I am a little bit jealous of them. Part of me would really like a clear lounge floor, or a pristine hallway, or a bedroom with a larger path to the bed!

But then I got to thinking. When I look around me now, I'm sat on the sofa in my lounge. From here I can see P's Peter Rabbit lying on the floor. He's next to a discarded piece of material from which I made a cape for E's superhero day today. Next to that is a book E was looking at last night, and a random abandoned cushion that the cat used to like to sleep on. Under the tv unit there is a further collection of 'stuff'. Headphones, papers, a camera bag, a cushion...who knows what else. I'm not even looking further to list more. You get the idea.

And yet within all this 'stuff', inside this mess, there is a household of love. A family who love each other and have fun. I'm not saying fun can't be had within a tidy house, or that people can't tidy up after themselves (although that seems impossible in this house!) but I love this house and all its mess. And as much as I tidy up, we make the mess again. It's not just them, it's us, all of us.

So I shall remember that I am blessed to have a house to be messy, a family to make mess. And I shall count my blessings as I collect the cheerios spilt on the carpet (they get everywhere!), and remember how lucky I am to have this mess.

Friend

You've got a friend in me.....so goes the song.

I'm lucky, I have some amazing friends. There are lots of people in my life for whom I am grateful and some very special friends. Amusingly, even though I am writing this blog post a week late (why change the habit of a lifetime?!), the day this prompt was given by Lisa-Jo, I was off on a spa break with a very good friend.  I met her in London, a random meeting at a Share Jesus weekend. Turned out the northerner that we had been told was there just happened to teach my husband's sister. Small world eh?!

Also turned out she was a fed-up teacher, and a wonderful friend. Together we shared our stories and she moved out of teaching into ministry. God bless her! She was then instrumental in my move out of teaching. Thanks lovely!

But she's not the only friend I have. I am lucky. My husband is also a friend. We spent a long time trying to  be just friends before we realised there was more to 'us' than that. And I'm very glad we did! Love you!

I also had a lovely lunch date with a friend last week. We were colleagues, until I left. Now we can be friends. It's a much nicer term.....and certainly suits us better.

So if you're reading this and you haven't had a personal mention, I'm sorry. It doesn't mean you're not a valued friend. But 5 minutes isn't long! Some of my friends are new, some are old, but all of them have a special place in my heart. And each of them were put there for a reason. We may not know yet what it is, but you're all special to  me.

And I wish for true friends for my girls. They already have a best friend, each other. How lucky are they?!

Glue

Glue. It's what holds us together, what binds us.

I look at my little family and think about what holds us together. I think God's love is the glue that holds us together.

I think of Jesus' instruction to us : To love one another as I have loved you. And I look at the love my girls have for each other, and in that, I do see the love of Jesus.

Today we went for a trip to the Trafford Centre and they had money to spend and thus a list of shops they wanted to visit. One of them was Waterstones ( a book shop for any unfamiliar with it). They wandered through the children's books and neither of them demanded, asked, requested anything for themselves. Instead they each pointed out books that the other would like.

"Esther, come quick, there's a book about owls."

"Phoebe, look......no come here.....it's a rabbit book."

"Esther, I've found an emergency vehicle!"

"Phoebe, I'm going to buy this one because it is about a penguin and I'm going to read it to you."

The last one was purchased and I'm sure they will sit together and Esther will read it to Phoebe.

It was lovely. And then the curled up together on the sofa, each looking after the other, watching Frozen together. The film is all about love, and how an act of love saves a life.

I look at my girls and see love. Love as the glue that holds us together, Love like the Father's love for us, to send His Son to the cross to allow us to live....and to love. And I pray that love will live between sisters, and between each of them and God forever.

Writer

(I'm back on track, it really is Friday! And the right Friday at that!)

Writer. Hmmm, I'm not a writer, and yet here I am writing to you now. I love reading other people's writing and a good book is a gift. Equally a good blog.

But writing was never my strong point. I remember my Yer 3 teacher (the lovely Mr Burdus) telling me that my brain worked too fast for my hand to keep up, and that I missed out important words in sentences. I smile to myself when I now say that to parents of kids in my Year 3 class. I was more a mathematician than a writer though. I did like writing but I still struggle with higher level sentence openers, conjunctions, adverbial phrases (I admit I haven't got the first clue what they are...even now!), and all those other things I encourage my poor kids to put into their writing. I'd never get a Level 5 for writing.

But I do enjoy it. (And I know that I shouldn't start sentences with either 'but' or 'and'!). I've enjoyed writing this little blog. Five minutes is a challenge but it's a fun one. Thank you Lisa-Jo for starting it off and continuing to give a  prompt each Friday. I don't always manage it on the given Friday, but I do try to fill in the gaps.

Let me know what else I should write about. I'm willing to witter in my own inimitable style! I promise I make more sense in person....I think it's the hand waving, it clarifies everything!!

Mighty

Ooops, this is last week's......I'm a bit slow! (Plus it's a tricky one!)

Mighty. He is mighty to save.....that's a lyric from a worship song, I can't even work out which one (and in five minutes I don't have time to keep singing it till I work it out!). But He is mighty, and He does save. Our God is an awesome God.

What else is mighty? Well, nothing can be as mighty as God. I don't know. It's not a word I use often. I use 'might' a lot. I might do this....I might do that....we might be able to go there. I guess it stops me confirming anything so that I'm not in trouble with the kids (my own or my school kids) if things don't go to plan.

But mighty. That's a whole different game. I guess I see the mightiness of God at Eastertime. I know we're not strictly there yet but we break up from school for the Easter holidays next friday and I'm thinking about it more. We're acting out the Easter story with my Y3 and 4s. It's humbling watching this gorgeous little kid (and our Jesus is a really lovely young man!) pretending to be crucified. Listening to him say, "It is finished" and hanging his head while in front of a painted cross is a poignant reminder of how humble and yet how mighty Jesus is.

He did that for you, you know. He did that for you, and he would have done it if you were the only person on earth ever to live. He is mighty.  Mighty to save. Do ask me about it if you want to know more.

Joy

Joy. Happiness. Delight.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control

I struggle with a lot of those - maybe I should strive for joy. 

I'm not the most positive person I know. In fact I'm pretty much known for being a misery! Well, hopefully not a misery, but definitely a fairly negative realist. I did one of those online quiz things recently and out of all the Mr Men (whom I love dearly!), I was Little Miss Sunshine. One of my very best friends laughed a lot, probably more than one. I'm not known for being a sunshine.

I should try though. 

I have so much to be happy about. I've just finished the literacy comments on my school reports for one! That's a biggie at this time of year. But also, I look at all the things I have. A happy, healthy, gorgeous family, an amazing bunch of friends, a job.....and almost a new job. Oh and I should say I'm pretty chuffed to only have 3 weeks left as a teacher.

So I should be more joyous. Exude more joy. Maybe that should be my challenge.

I certainly look at people around me who have so many more problems than me and they celebrate the joy in all kinds of things. One friend in particular who has far far more than her fair share of struggles, and yet she is very often positive, joyful, and always always rejoices in the Lord.

And looking at the fruits of the spirit, well....
 I definitely struggle with peace (I do have two small children after all!) 
Patience is something God has been trying to teach me....I am working on it,. 
Kindness.....sometimes! 
Goodness......um. 
Faithfulness I'm not bad. A faithful wife, mother and friend. Gentleness...again, um.
Self control.....not around chocolate certainly.

So ok, I'll try joy. Let's go!

Crowd

Disclaimer : I know it's not Friday. It nearly is....but that's the 'wrong' Friday. This is for last week. I guess life got  busy. But it's still five minutes......

Crowds.

I don't like crowds. I think of the Trafford Centre on the Saturday afternoon before Christmas. That gives me shivers. Part of that is the paranoia that rages, part of it is by upbringing - Mum and Dad never did crowded shopping, we always went early in the morning!

Being part of the crowd.

I've never been part of the "in-crowd". I was more on the edge. Friends with lots of people, but not being part of the popular bunch. I think I'm happy with that. I have a lot of fabulous friends that way.

But crowds of young people.That is one thing that make me worry about my girls and their teenage years. Already blonde, leggy and (with a mother's bias!) beautiful. Will they want to be part of the crowd? Will they be strong enough to stand out?

Esther seems pretty strong in her own opinions. (Opinionated? Yes. Gobby? Yes. Gorgeous? Definitely!) When she was about 3, she started ballet and when I bought her first ballet leotard we discussed colours. It came in pink (obviously!), blue or white. She chose blue. I did point out that all the other girls wore pink, but no, she was strong, she wanted blue. And blue she had. She wore it as an individual. She stood out from the crowd.

She's quite an independent little thing too. Likes to play with different people, has no 'best friend' at school and is happy in her own company. I pray that stays with her. And with Phoebe. That they won't follow the crowd to the wrong places. That they will have the strength to stand up for what is right.

Or I bury my head and ignore the thought of the teenage years!

Choose

Choices. Decisions. I'm not very good at those. Ask my poor husband. He knows if he asks me what I want for tea, I can never make a decision. That doesn't stop me objecting to anything he suggests though!

My 'poor' husband is one great choice I made. I would choose him if I had my time again. He's not perfect (just like his wife!), but he's perfect for me. He was definitely the right choice.

Choices are hard though. I've just resigned as a teacher. That was a hard choice. It was made to protect my mental welfare, and that of my family. Choosing a new job was tricky too. I hope I have made the right choice.....only time will tell.

I shan't regret it however. I don't do regrets. Whatever choices I have made, I have made them with the best intentions, the greatest knowledge I could accrue at the time, and for the right reasons. I don't think looking back and wishing I had done things differently is useful. I am lucky. Very lucky. The choices I have made have led me to here, which is not a  bad place to be at all!

God gives us choices. He lets us choose. He suggests things, He blocks things that aren't the right choice, and promotes those that are. But He gives us choice. He gives us free will. That's a hard concept for some people, but it's amazing that if we choose to love Him, He will do everything in His power to help us to make the right decisions.

Jeremiah says,
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

God has our best interests at heart and if we listen to Him, we can rest in the knowledge that the right choices are the ones He helps us to make.


What will you choose today? x

Small

Small.  Little.  Tiny.  It's the small things.  Don't sweat the small stuff. Just a few initial thoughts.

Small is my littlest girl. Phoebe, Doodles, the rabbit. She's small. She doesn't want to be small. She wants to be big like her (also little to me!) sister. She wants to  be 4....she'll tell you she's nearly 4. She's wishing time away, always striving to be bigger, older, more like her sister.  Less small.

But small is good. It really is the small things. They are the things that make a difference.

Listening.  Really listening.....not just being there in body. That makes a difference.

Smiling at someone. Smiling a real smile. Noticing when someone needs something.

Those are small things, but they mean so much.

I'm lucky to have friends who do the small things........and also do the bigger things, but it is the small things that can make such a simple difference.  What small thing could you do for someone today?

At a very small person's dedication service today, the preacher (the fabulous Pete Phillips) spoke about shining for God. Stars look small. I know they are not (there's a scientist in me somewhere!) but they look small out in the night sky. Like a small candle flame which can give off so much light. Small but definitely not insignificant. I want to encourage my small girls to let their light shine, to shine for God. To do the small things. To make a difference.

Maybe I need to lead by example. Let's try.......

Garden

This week's post from Lisa-Jo included a surprise. A huge fundraiser for amazing things. See here for more information.

So this week's prompt is garden.

My garden is a mess. We didn't have a garden before we moved here, and we've done ok with it. In the summer it yielded mountains of vegetables. Its sheltered spot with plenty of sunshine and making sure it was well watered produced great things.  But it was all thanks to my mum who started all the plants off, whether from seed, or by nurturing the first young plants. I'm very grateful to her, and hope she will do the same this year.

I guess that's a bit like life. I want the crops, the end product, the vegetables. But I'm not so good at starting things off. I need someone to give me a kick start. Maybe I worry too much,  maybe I dont have the skills, or maybe I'm too lazy. The kickstart though, gets me going and I can see it through.

My new job is an example.  My wonderful friend Ruth found it and told me to apply.  My great friend Claire helped me fill in the application form and cheered me on my way, and the same friends and my husband encouraged me to be myself at interview,  where they offered me the job.

From the seeds God places in our hearts, great things can happen. I encourage you this week to see what seeds are being planted, and how you can nurture them and make them grow. Good luck, and let me know what's growing in your heart.

God bless x

Write

Writing. Writing's hard. I teach it all the time (well, not for much longer, but maybe that's a whole other post!), and the kids find it hard. I find it hard. I don't think I'd pass the year 6 SATs. I certainly wouldn't make the holy grail of the much coveted Level 6. I only got a level 6 in my Y9 SATs (and no, I'm not that old, I was the first year to do them!).

So apart from teaching it and writing mountains of stars and wishes on children's writing, when else do I write? Well I write text messages to friends. I write on Facebook walls. I even write notes to my husband.....shame they are things like, "Get milk", "Move the carseat", or the latest, stuck to the spare room door, "Close Me". I'm very profound.

Yet I write myself notes a lot. I have no memory. I believe I squeezed it out when I gave birth to the girls....at least it was around then that it was last seen. So I write notes to keep myself going. To remind me where I need to be, what I need to do, or of the million things I haven't done. One day I'll even reach the bottom of the 'To Do' list. Well, let me dream anyway.

Write. It's what I do here. I do it in the privacy of this blog. And then, to be honest, not many people read it. Yes, some lovely people come from Lisa Jo's blog (where this all started), and someone always comments. I'm really grateful for that. It's a fab thing to do (sign up, I dare you!). But who else reads it? Who else would want to?! The inane ramblings of a Mooble.  So today I'm going to be brave. I think. I'm going to link to it on Facebook. Oh, time's up. Hey there Facebook friends. Sorry for the randomness. But do pop back. See what I write next.

Writing's fun!

Visit

Visiting people is like a breath of fresh air for the soul. I love visiting friends and find there isn't enough time to do it.  I also love hosting people. Love being surrounded by friends. We have a, now annual, gathering of a big bunch of friends who all met online (I thank the Lord for a certain parenting forum!) and there can be up to 30 of us. It was lovely to have all those people in my house.

I love going to see people. I have lots of friends who like visitors. I love those places where you feel at home and can happily make your own drink or wander round feeling at ease. I miss some of those friends who now live further away.

I know I don't invite people in as much as I should. So if you're a friend who is reading this, please pop by. I if haven't directly invited you recently, then take this as your invitation. Let's get a date in the diary, or just pop in one evening - I'm usually here! Maybe this will inspire me to contact people. Perhaps when this 5 minutes is up, I should contact some people. And I should also invite Jesus into my home more often. I should make sure He feels welcome and that I feel at ease in his company.

So pop in,come visit. Can't wait to see you x

Encouragement

Encourage. To encourage. Encouraging.

It's something a parent tries to be to their child. I like to encourage their inquisitiveness...until they ask too many questions! I like to encourage their creativity.....until they make too much mess. I like to encourage their tastes....until they ask to listen to One Direction!  No, truly, I want to encourage my children.

I want to encourage my own two girls, and also the children I teach. I have one or two with low self esteem so I try harder to encourage them. They all work so hard and make great progress. I'd love to have more time to encourage them further.

Encouragement is something that can be so badly lacking between adults. My family are very  encouraging. My girls are a constant source of encouragement, and my husband encourages me (as long as it fits in with basketball!!), but within work there is little encouragement. Not just in my school, but in so many. It breaks my heart to hear teachers feeling so depressed, being treated so badly, and feeling so bad about themselves. One of the members of management at my school constantly tells me I have low self-esteem. Yes, they are right. It's a product of constantly being told I'm doing everything wrong.

So in order to encourage me to encourage the children I'm working with, maybe I need to be encouraged. God encourages us. He asks us to love Him, and to love others. Some people are much harder to love than others, but we should try. And keep trying.

So I'm trying.....hard. And I promise to keep trying, so do keep encouraging both me and each other.

See

What do I see when I look at you, little bear? Tonight I saw tired eyes, crying eyes, eyes that wanted Daddy when Daddy wasn't there. Eyes that pleaded with me to understnd and to see more than the stroppy, shouty six year old. Eyes that wanted me, but didn't want me in equal measure.

I looked at you and was cross. I could see the giant pile of marking in my mind's eye, the hours of work I needed to do, and the lack of patience I have.

I stepped away. Giving you space to calm down, but really giving myself the space. Then I saw how God sees me. How He doesn't step away. How he looks on and never leaves me.

I saw you afresh.  Looking broken and sad. My arms went around you, your little arms went round me and we held each other until you stopped sobbing and your breathing slowed.

 I saw you. Beautiful, sensitive, innocent you. And I saw the love I hold for you, and for your sister. And I saw agaim the love that Father God has for all of us.